Monday, April 19, 2010

Wii releases Pole Dancing Bundle

Nintendo will release the Wii Fit Pole Dancing bundle for the Nintendo Wii game console this week. Little has been revealed about the new product since it was announced in March at the 2010 Game Developers Conference in San Francisco. The bundle is a continuing effort to extend Wii gaming to an older, adult consumer.

Nintendo promises Wii Fit Pole Dancing will extend game consumers fitness level to extreme heights.

“Besides boosting your flexibility in the crotchial regions, players will discover elevated heart rates, extreme butt clenching techniques, and may even experience a rush of blood to muscles most gamers never use,” explained consultant, Sunshine Loveless.

The bundle comes complete with a eight foot brass pole, engraved with your online pre-registered stripper name and ships with a monstrous 40 pair of nipple tassels, five sets of lace thong wireless controller panties, a downloadable avatar (of your stripper likeness), and a copy of Wii Fit Pole Dancing. A deluxe bundle is also available which includes a sandwich bag full of bar juice to throw on the floor before you get started and a 300 pound bouncer. The deluxe bundle retails around $399, per hour.

The new game was the runaway hit of last month's Game Developers Conference.

“We were assured some after hours entertainment by Wii this year, but this is something I can really throw my money at,” boasted one overly amused couch fixture. “They really delivered the goods this time!”

Gamers can pre-order Wii Fit Pole Dancing now, but will be charged a $10 cover to gain entrance to the Wii website and will also have to accept a 2 drink minimum. Wii Fit Pole Dancing is due to straddle the shelves on Tuesday.

Story by Hate Nurst