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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Town Celebrates Anniversary
of 'Wash Me' Caption

NEW PALESTINE, IN - The city of New Palestine will celebrate the 150th anniversary of an institution of American culture. The 'Wash Me' caption was first placed on a mode of transportation in New Palestine on May 1, 1860. New Palestine resident Ray Dunkle is credited for the caption placement, which he positioned on the backside of his dirty horse. A statue will be erected at the center of town to honor Dunkle, his horse Leotard, and the famous caption.

"This is the kind of thing that puts cities on the map," says New Palestine Spokesman Barry Lunt. "Having this legacy helps with our local tourism business. I expect to see a significant increase in sales at Hardees and McDonalds."

The popularity of the caption was purely accidental. In an attempt to gain right of entry to a hooker without paying, Dunkle set out to impress her by riding his horse. The intended caption was to be 'Watch me' but unfortunately Dunkle was mostly illiterate and drunk off of moonshine. Instead he wrote 'Wash me'. Dunkle’s body was later found floating face down in Sugar Creek. But, the legendary caption was born. Since then, the 'Wash me' caption gained slow but steady notoriety and then saw an explosion with the invention of the automobile.

City officials expect a large turnout for tonight's statue ribbon cutting ceremony and an even bigger turnout for Saturday's parade, beginning at 9a.m. All New Palestine businesses are encouraged to dirty their windows and incorporate the 'Wash me' heading. It appears as if the town is already well on its way towards this goal. The parade will include dirty cars from several decades with the slogan in scripted on each of them. A local women’s group, dressed as late 1800’s women of the night, will be holding a charity car wash officially ending the ‘Wash Me’ festivities. Donations are welcome.

Story by Dudley Dawson