Monday, March 22, 2010

State Government to add special amendment to the bring your gun to work law

INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Last week Governor Mitch Daniels signed a bill into law allowing employees to bring firearms to work as long as they remain concealed in the employee's vehicle. Now, a new amendment to this bill has the General Assembly buzzing.

With the addition of Amendment 187, employees will be allowed to shoot fellow coworkers. Proponents of this amendment say it's time to give employees the freedeom to shoot others for being wrong, loud or annoying. They feel this will be more efficient than working things out respectfully, just like in the John Wayne movies they love so much. But, opponents believe this law could lead to an increased number of homicides in the work place.

"I don't see an issue here," says Indiana ATF spokesman Wayne Alvis. "Shooting others when appropriate is an exercise of the 2nd Amendment. It's time to bring back the good old fashioned duel. This is the greatest thing since they legalized brass knuckles."

In anticipation of the new law, Governor Daniels ran a test case. He allowed employees the freedom to shoot each other at a packaging factory in Tipton. After only three weeks, the company's overhead costs were reduced dramatically. But detractors are quick to point out these savings were in part attributed to the workforce mysteriously decreasing from 76 employees to 24.

Democratic Assembly members promised to fight against Amendment 187 but quickly caved when members of the opposition brandished their firearms.

Story by Dudley Dawson