Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Abstinence-only advocates urge
dry humping education in schools

INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- A new advocate group called Citizens for Dry Humping Education (CDHE) has recently emerged in central Indiana. Spawned from debates about abstinence-only education, the group has started seeking out sex alternatives to promote to teens.

"Dry humping" occurs when two fully-clothed individuals rub against one another to achieve sexual pleasure. Carol Seksles, founder of CDHE and long-time abstinence education lobbyist, says some people can even orgasm while dry humping.

"Not everyone has to have intercourse for that to happen," she said. "In fact, sometimes even thinking about it... oops, I just had one."

The CDHE education plan involves a semester-long course on dry humping, including visual demonstrations and tips on how to do the deed without really doing it. In fact, the group hopes all Indianapolis-area schools begin teaching at an early age that dry humping is real sex. They believe this will eliminate all future STD outbreaks and births, which Seksles says is "really the whole point of sex education."

An anonymous school nurse from a Marion County school district hopes her employers don't adopt this policy.

"My last school taught dry humping, and it was just too much work for me," she said. "Kids came in every day with horrible rashes and burns."

But according to Seksles, this won't be a problem with her new curriculum plan. Certified CDHE instructors will have extended training in safe dry humping.

"It's really common sense," Seksles said. "Don't wear jeans or corduroys. Make sure there aren't any gaping crotch holes. That kind of thing."

CDHE will host an information session and example dry humping class 1 p.m. Saturday at Monument Circle in Indianapolis. Attendees should wear loose-fitting clothes made of thin fabric. Gold Bond Medicated Powder will be provided.

Story by Penny Quarter