Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday Sports Shorts

MMMM...Creamy fall off the bone hammy

Notre Dame tight end, Kyle Rudolph will miss the rest of the season with a torn hamstring. Initial reports stated the sweet, succulent hamstring fell right off the bone. Rudolph struggled with the hammy throughout summer camp but was thought to be 100 percent at the start of the season. Notre Dame’s assistant medical trainer reflected on the treatment of Rudolph’s injury.

“We found a treatment for pulled hamstrings left behind by the old staff, so we decided to use it. We rubbed the hamstring down with some apple cider vinegar and Himalayan sea salt. Then we smoked the hamstring with hickory chips for 8 hours. When we picked Rudy up off the field, the tender hammy fell right off the bone. Turns out the treatment we found was actually coach Weis’ recipe for hickory smoked ham. We regret the mistake.”

Reporting by Hate Nurst