Saturday, January 26, 2013

Friday Sports Shorts

Luck Replaces Brady in Pro Bowl
The NFL added Indianapolis Colts rookie quarterback Andrew Luck to the AFC Pro Bowl roster this week. Luck replaces New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who annually bows out due to unspecified injuries. 
Some speculate Brady injured himself attempting an uncoordinated karate kick at Ed Reed during the Patriots loss to the Ravens. But it's more likely he's just taking after his sore-loser coach, Bill Belichick, and would rather sit in a dark room and pout than play in the Pro Bowl. Brady refused to be interviewed after the decision, but could be spotted stomping out of the media room wearing a cut-off sweatshirt and UGG® boots.
Luck will backup the good natured, universally loved, former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning (who holds two more MVP awards than Tom Brady).

The Pro Bowl will take place this Sunday. If you're interested in watching the televised broadcast of the game, you should really, really consider getting some sort of hobby or finding a more fulfilling activity.
Chicago Cubs to Renovate Wrigley

The Chicago Cubs announced plans for a major renovation to historic Wrigley Field this week. Built in 1914, the ballpark has had only two major renovations until now.  The 1937 renovation added stairs to the upper decks. The park added lights and installed restrooms in 1988.

This renovation will add several 32" tube televisions near concession stands, VHS players will be added to the press room, Internet will be available through many open phone jacks, the stadium will add more than a dozen payphones and vendors will also begin offering soft drinks such as Tab and Slice.

No word on whether the stadium will address the out-of-control weed problem plaguing the outfield wall. 

New Orleans Changes Team Name Midseason

This week the New Orleans Hornets announced a team name change. Team officials cited a desire to come up with a team name that either related more with the city or with team owner, Tom Benson.  Benson held a private, booze-fueled, party for senior staff to brainstorm. 
Other names reportedly on the table at this social gathering were:  "Drunken Tourists," "Redbilled Woodcocks," "Floodies," "Show me your tits and I'll give you a necklace," and "Nickelback." 
The newly named Pelicans will retain this name until owner Tom Benson has another party. 

In B1G recruiting news Michigan locked up commitments from Penny Hardaway Jr., Jermaine O'Neal Jr. And Chris Mullins the VIII for the 2014 basketball season. 

More Manti!

Manti Te'o sat down with serious journalist Katie Couric for his first televised interview since Fake Dead Girlfriendgate broke. Te'o insisted that he is just very naive and dumb throughout the conversation, but also added that he is "faaaar from gay." No one is exactly sure what that odd statement means. Deadspin is trying to decide whether it means he is in fact gay or homophobic as their around the clock Te'o coverage continues.