Saturday, December 3, 2011

Loss of Clint Session may be real key to Colts downfall



The Indianapolis Colts announced Peyton Manning's latest neck surgery has finally worked. A small sigh of relief could be heard from the W. 56th Street complex as far as Mooresville. However, as the star quarterback works himself back into Hall of Fame form one question remains. Can Clint Session still help the Colts? Unfortunately, the answer is no.

The talk surrounding the Colts' downfall this year has centered on Manning. But the reason the Colts have fallen so hard this year isn't due to the lack of strong QB play, coaching or talent evaluation. The downfall has come from the massive suck-hole left behind from the absence of Clint Session. Many believe he left the hole there on purpose.

The Colts are dead last in defense. This is due to the defensive players being distracted by the sucking noise coming from the core of the Colt defense. Former defensive coordinator, Larry Coyer, was afraid to be aggressive and blitz for fear he would lose one of his players to this black hole coming from the center of the d. Ever since Session left the Colts, shot Osama Bin Laden dead and decided to lead Jacksonville to the fourth best defense in the NFL, there has been discussions to hand the league MVP trophy over to Clint Session.

Session, the one player in the league to sack Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers at the same time, denied reports that he intentionally left the suck-hole in the Colt defense. He also said he had no use for the league MVP trophy, as he already has twelve neatly displayed in his beard.
So while some good news on Peyton Manning has come to light, the Colts front office needs to address the massive suck hole that Clint Session left. As of right now they are stating that there is nothing to worry about and this suck hole is simply a correctable error.