Monday, February 28, 2011

Friday Sports Shorts

Cam Artist

Cecil Newton, father of Auburn quarterback Cam, showed up early for this week's NFL combine to sweet talk NFL team owners. But, the crafty veteran has learned from his past mistakes and trying to be more discreet about his intentions this time.

”I don't get it," said redskins GM Daniel Snyder." Doesn't he understand we fully intend to pay players?”

Newton has been attempting to get $75,000 from teams in exchange for a guarantee his son will play for an NFL team. To strengthen his stance, he stated he will make his son spend a year in the United Football League if his offer isn't accepted.

Hold the Mayo

The Pacers fucked up a blockbuster trade yesterday that would have sent Josh McRoberts and a first round draft pick to the Memphis Grizzlies in exchange for O.J. Mayo as well as another deal involving Brandon Rush for the New Orleans Hornets' 2011first round draft pick. Apparently, when filing the paperwork, the Pacers did not fill-in the Scantron circles correctly and doodled in he space clearly marked "Do not write in this space," thus nullifying the deal.

NASCAR Taps the Season

43 sofa-ridden beer drinkers saw daylight for the first time this year and were motivated enough to drive in circles for 500 miles last weekend. Many of whom were still feeling the effects of their three-month drinking binge, crashed and were unable to complete the ovaled marathon. One of the crash victims, pole setter Dale Ernhardt Jr., blamed the anniversary of his father’s death on his collision at the tail-end of the journey.

Reporting by C. Bommarito, Dudley Dawson & Hate Nurst